Editor’s note: The review is based on the PS3 game, installed with patch 1.01. At the time of the review, a patch for Xbox 360 wasn’t out yet. The review’s score will be adjusted if a patch significantly improves the netcode.
My heart beats faster and my fingers tremble violently. I can’t hold my joystick steady; I’m too caught up in the moment.
I just rage quit my last — and final — ranked match in King of Fighters 12.
Microsoft has become well-known for using their financial might to secure timed exclusives. According to Team 17 studio director Martyn Brown though, that wasn’t the case for the upcoming Alien Breed: Evolution.
Saying that he understands that it’s difficult when an exclusive game goes to another console, Brown told Videogamer, “Obviously we’d like everything on every platform day one. The Live Arcade thing… we get accused of being bribed or we’ve took Microsoft’s money, and it’s all bollocks.”
The thing about weapons is, ideally, they’re supposed to hurt the other guy. Of all the simple rules that should be observed in designing one it’s fair to say that this would be the most important, if it were actually the kind of thing that seemed like it needed to be pointed out. Videogames are a bit different in that no matter how suicidally unwieldy an implement of destruction is, it will always somehow fail to take off your own head.
Here are the five weapons that, if magically transported to the real world, would be the most dangerous for whoever was stupid enough to actually try to use them. Note: I’m excluding everything from Metal Gear, on account of the fact that this would have to be a top 30 and wouldn’t include anything outside the series. Nobody should have to tell anyone that icubating giant wasps inside their body is a bad idea.
We probably have zombie movies to thank for the overstated destructive reputation of chain saws, which, in fact, are pretty ideal for cutting through trees and not much else. They’re heavy, prone to kicking when encountering anything that isn’t wood, and hard enough to handle even with a proper grip, which isn’t provided by a rifle. In fact, on the list of things that would be practical if attached to a rifle, chain saws actually land lower than, say, a cinder block or a pissed off cat. If only because it’s harder to accidentally take your own hand off with one of those.
A sword attached to your arms with a chain is pretty much one step removed from Sword-Chucks in terms of potential lethality to the user. At least, it would be should you choose to actually go swinging them around at the end of those chains. I suppose you could just use them like regular, non-idiot swords with a convenient chain to keep them from being… I don’t know, pickpocketed on the subway. You’d look like you had one of those dorky wallet chains, but given that it’s attached to a sword I can’t imagine anyone criticizing.
Whips have their issues, and it’s already hard enough not to injure yourself with one even when they’re not covered in razor blades. The sword side of a whip-sword is fine, but when you’re flailing around with a string coated in cutty bits you’re pretty much begging for a self-inflicted decephalization. Sure, you might be able to mitigate that somewhat with years of intensive training in a non-existent martial art, but given that a fraction of a second of error would result in the removal of your own limbs or organs, there are probably easier ways of cutting guys.
Oversized swords of every kind probably belong on here, but the gunblade stands out from the crowd in two ways. First, a pistol grip isn’t exactly ideal for swinging an enormous, heavy hunk of metal around without snapping your girlish wrists, and second, it features a built in gun that, well, doesn’t have anywhere for the bullets to come out. I’ve heard this explained by Final Fantasy fans before, but I can’t really remember what the excuse was, other than it had something to do with magic and actually sounded stupider than “they forgot to put a hole in the front.” It’s either a sword that’ll break bones, or a gun that’ll blow your face off if you pull the trigger.
Even within the universe of Fallout 3 the the Fat Man mini-nuke has the entertaining property of irradiating the player only slightly less than what they’re shooting at. Really, if you have line of sight to a target and aren’t in an airplane, that’s obviously too close to be exploding a nuke on it. The funny thing is, real-world people not only made things like this once, but actually deployed them. The Davy Crockett tactical nuclear recoiless rifle was, thankfully, never fired on the battlefield. I can only guess that they were decommissioned when someone with common sense finally saw the thing and quietly shat himself in disbelief before calling men in white coats to lock up everyone in the R&D department.
Let me just spare you some time and cut to the chase: Watchmen: The End is Nigh Part 2‘s best moment is in the last chapter — where you can control Rorschach as he pummels the crap out of a steady stream of rotund, bondage gear-wearing fetishists. Sadly, that one moment comes in the last chapter of a throw-away story where Nite Owl and Rorschach do their best “Nicholas Cage in 8MM” imitations while searching for a missing girl that was last seen in a torture-porn film. And you’re going to have to put up with two chapters’ worth of mediocre beat-em-up action before you reach this glorious bout of ultraconservative sociopath vs. sexual deviance.
It’s a bit of a shame how this episodic installment turns out, since I erred on the optimistic side for its predecessor. As a quick refresher, the first installment of Watchmen: The End is Nigh is a snazzy-looking downloadable brawler. Yes, it was deeply flawed (repetition, value, lack of online co-op), but I forgave its sins because it showed promise, and it’s the closest I will ever get to having Rorschach walk around and snap baddies’ forearms on command.
Hot on the heels of announcing that Forza 3 will (gasp) release this year, Turn-10 has revealed today that the famed Circuit de Catalunya raceway will be included in a Forza title for the first time. Additionally, Turn-10 also revealed a list of 12 Euro-Sport Compact cars that are also making their debut in the Forza series.
The Circuit de Catalunya, located in Barcelona, is best known for being the home of the F1 Spanish Grand Prix each year. Forza, of course, is not a Formula One game, but Turn-10 did show off the additional 12 compact cars you’ll be able to cruise the raceway with:
Little Big Planet’s level creation is pretty robust — enough so that it’s featured variations on everything from Gradius to Contra. Media Molecule wants to take the level creation tools even further though, promising new options with the next round of downloadable content.
“A lot of our DLC so far has been based around expanding our palletes, if you like; more costumes, more stickers, and things like this,” co-founder Mark Healy told Videogaming247.
“A big part of what’s coming in the future expands on what’s possible in Little Big Planet in terms of it being a creation tool.”
Amazon isn’t the only company suffering due to low sales at retail. MTV parent company Viacom is reporting an eight percent revenue drop for the fiscal quarter ending June 30, which they blamed on declining sales of Rock Band, Gamasutra reports.
The media giant described the decline as “losses associated with Rock Band due to the soft retail environment,” while also pointing to lower advertising revenus and $16 million in severance charges. Viacom chief executive Phillipe Dauman said he feels good about the franchise’s long-term prospects though.
“We continue to feel very good about the long-term value that this franchise holds, particularly as we see the downloadable content portion of the business continue to grow,” Dauman said, pointing to the fact that Viacom has sold more than 50 million songs via disc or online for Rock Band.
Claptrap’s what I imagine Wall-E’s whimsical cousin would be like: a trapezoidal-bodied droid with metal manipulators for hands without the Pixar robot’s introspective and sensitive demeanor, but with an outgoing, friendly attitude that’s in stark contrast to the harsh, unwelcome landscape of the Borderlands world. He’s a lively fellow, and it’s his earnest urgings and advice that help guide me through the FPS/RPG hybrid’s first handful of quests.
The game starts off (after a round of cut-scenes that, in the interest of time, publisher 2K chose to skip for this hands-on session) with Claptrap beckoning to me. “Over here!” he exclaims.
I feel obliged to follow.
Click the image above to check out all Borderlands screens.
As part of their previously announced partnership with Nile Rodgers’ Sumthing Distribution record label, Capcom have released the full soundtrack for Bionic Commando. The 20-track CD should be available at select retailers as of this morning, while those of us who’ve moved on from physical media can download the tracks from either iTunes or Sumthing’s digital store — both of which have the album priced at $9.99.
Composer Jamie Christopherson had the following to say about his work on Bionic Commando:
“I remember playing Bionic Commando back on the NES and like everyone else I was blown away by the quality of the music. Not only were there extremely ‘hummable’ epic melodies, but the use of the MIDI chip to create a very dense and complicated orchestral arrangement was astonishing. If someone would have told me that 20 years later I would be working on a next generation Bionic Commando game, I would never have believed them. I was fortunate enough to take the music (including the famous main theme) and give it a modern treatment, complete with an anthemic 15-piece brass ensemble.”
So was Christopherson’s treatment of the game’s music memorable enough to warrant a purchase? Or were you far too busy swinging into things and groaning at the insane plot twists to notice the score?
This week’s Rock Band DLC lineup features three-packs from Weezer and blink-182, along with a trio of live recordings from rock legends KISS — what, you thought they were only good for reality television and delightfully awkward Dr. Pepper endorsements? Arriving today on Xbox Live and this Thursday on the PlayStation Store, each of these tracks will go for the usual $1.99 (160 Microsoft points) apiece, with the three-packs priced at $5.49 (440 Microsoft points).
